Trust

The last week has sucked. Recovery post-seizure isn't easy, though physically I only have a small scrape to show for it. It's the emotional bit that's tough.

I've lost my trust in myself again, because I just don't know when it'll happen. I know that it's probably connected to the running, but that's not definite. I'm finding that I'm second-guessing myself. Do I feel properly connected and aware? What bits of my memory have I lost this time? Can I really be out alone and in charge of a child?

It sucks. Epilepsy should just fuck off.

People have suggested I give up running. It saddens me that at 30 it might be something I'm not physically able to do. I don't want to give up, but I think I'll have to see how it goes.

In better news, I won an elliptical cross trainer on eBay tonight, so that'll help with getting fitter safely :D